In this entry I will be posting an entry I was going to post on the twenty-second of September, but due to how exhausted I was over the week, I never got around to getting online and posting it, rather more so finishing it. The wind is picking up as the sun is rising and wind has been picking up for the past few hours since I got home from work (at about 3am).

The twenty-third of this month, I decided to do what I was going to do at 2pm instead I did it earlier. That is being part of a pro-life rosary prayer at an abortion clinic. I know I know whatever your reasoning of being pro-choice or pro-life please do not start something on here. I will agree to disagree on many issues of abortion. I do not care for it and believe it to be a LAST option. I believe a child deserve as much right to live as another. I believe that sometimes doing this (rosary prayer at abortion clinic) is the right step in helping those understand that it has gotten out of control. I mean seriously I have heard a person proud of the idea of them having their eighth abortion. That is sick and I wanted to vomit.

I want a reform on this (abortion), I believe education and peaceful protest is the only way at times to get anything done. We need to teach all especially those in middle school and high school of what sex really is and how protection, doesn’t matter what it is will not always help. A motto I go by with people who talk about they were not ready for a child and they were in a moment and the child was an accident is: “Once you decide to have sex you are saying ‘I am responsible for my actions’ and ‘I am an adult’.” It is true, so many people especially teenager do not know what sex is, they know only by ear and by television. Health classes do not teach you anything about sex; it is either one extreme or the other. Many people have learned that with other subjects.

But, either way, I decided to go at the 9am time slot, for my parish was part of the “40 Days for Life” and it was our turn (you can go anytime you wish) and Father LaCasse OP was there. We had over sixteen people there and that doesn’t include children. I heard there was some of our parishioner children actually asked their parents if they could come and pray with them. It went well, we did not have any trouble, most people respected us, there was extremist of pro-life there and I must say there are extremist on both ends, both which I cannot stand. They condemn the women who do this, when my parish and many of the schools that I know very well try to promote to help those who have went through an abortion and feel the pain of regret. We do not condemn them only wish they know the action they took. We help them through it and all we can. We (as in those who are in wave length with me) want to help those who fear their pregnancy to know there are other options than abortion and if you choose it you must be prepared for what you do. There are those out there who will instantly claim I do not care for the right of women, but in fact I do care, but I also care for the right of those who are unable to speak for their lives. I am this way on animals and humans all deserve the right to live and die.

A co-worker and I got into the discussion, not heated, but discussion and I understand her fully, not saying I agree, but understand. I am not going to say she is wrong. She believes in what she does, I want to at least in our goals find that medium that suits all and one day rid of the idea of abortion.

I am suddenly on a topic that I really did not want to voice here because I know that many will get upset with my views and get after me. I hope you just understand my voice, because for me as what I was raised (over at my Daddy’s more so) that my country you have the right to speak for yourself and for your issues. So, I am sorry if my side of this issue pisses you off.

So, after prayer Father LaCasse OP took Christie, Grace, and I back to the parish. Father is a very safe driver. He is really sweet to even take me back to the parish. I could not stay any longer; the extremist who had pictures of post aborted children was making me sick. It was then after taking me back home (parish) that I felt better. Father joked with me about doing “man’s work”. It is a joke that I wrote about in an entry a few months past.

Christie and I then took Grace home and we went to Panera’s. Christie and I seem to have a good bond with one another. We are able to talk about things that I use to talk about with Sister. It is nice, and I was shocked to hear her speak about Father’s Day when Father Peter was celebrating his final Mass at Saint Patrick’s before leaving for Youngstown. She told me that I must have been working with God because you see she was suppose to try to get her Dad (who is a fallen Catholic) to go to Mass with her. Well, I remember this quite well, I wrote to her about Father’s last Mass. She told me that she was unsure and then when she got the message from me saying “If you come, I will be sitting up in the front pew on Mary’s Side”. She said she decided to go and what she had been dealing with (which was fear) Father Peter discussed about it in his homily. I listened to her just speak about that day and I am amaze at how she thanked me for what I believe was nothing. God does work those little miracles.

Thursday, was Date night of course with J.R. and well, I slept in and I felt really bad about it. J.R. did not seem to mind and actually was glad I got to sleep. (I was also mad because I wanted to go to Panera’s and write a post on livejournal, but Kita decided to sleep.) We went over to his house and just kind of talked and watched ‘Ghost Hunters’ on YouTube. Later in the evening we went to Easton. All I have to say am I found out that J.R. thinks I would look good in a corset :D and I think I need to quit visualizing him in an off-white cotton or wool turtle neck and deep dark blue jeans. We ate at Max&Erma’s and then went over to Barnes&Nobles’. I got a few things, such as: a few of my favorite romance series (trying to collect them all), four mangas, and new stationary for me to Sister, another book for Sister, and John Wayne Movie Collection (with one of my favorite movies “Lady Takes a Chance” ) .

With that being said on Friday when I was sort of awake I put together a list of the books I am still missing from my romance series and so without further notice here is the list(s):

Sherrilyn Kenyon/Kinley MacGregor

Dark-Hunter Series:

1.       Dragonswan

2.       Midnight Pleasures

3.       Sins of the Night

4.       Love at First Bite

5.       My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding

6.       Bad Moon Rising

Lords of Avalon

1.       Sword of Darkness

2.       Knight of Darkness

3.       Darkness Within (coming in 2010)

Brotherhood of the Sword

1.       Claiming the Highlander

2.       Born in Sin

3.       Taming the Scotsman

4.       A Dark Champion

5.       Return of the Warrior

6.       Simon’s Store (I need a Hero or something like that)

Sea Wolves

1.       Master of Seduction

2.       A Pirate of Her Own

Julia Quinn’s Books:

1.       Everything and the Moon

2.       How to Marry a Marquis

3.       When He was Wicked

Karen Marie Moning’s Books:

1.       The Immortal Highlander

2.       The Dark Highlander

3.       Kiss of the Highlander

4.       To Tame a Highland Warrior

5.       Beyond the Highland Mist

All together that is twenty-five books to complete or at least up to date my series I own. Some people might be asking why I read romance novels and I will answer this honestly. It is because they are good stories, you can actually take out details of the sexual acts and still get a good book. Sister always thought the stories were interesting when I would explain them or quote some of the lines from the books. She always told me that there is nothing wrong with reading them. Plus, Sister and I loved imagination so it works! :D

So, with all this being said I admit the only reason I did it was because I re-organized my book-shelves for the third time. It needed it, I am being honest. I am just hoping that if I ever own a house I will have a library and that might in turn finally have enough space to fit all my books.

 Friday night was a pain in my rear, because of the security system at Kroger. I really do not want to get into it. For just thinking about it makes me upset and I give up on it. The only good thing from Saturday was while I was asleep, I remember feeling something tug me. I could hear “Sissy”. It was Kiya she decided to while my mother dropped off Caveman that she would crawl into bed with me and just be held by me. I miss that the most with not living at my mother’s. It was because of that little one truly that I stopped hurting myself. I miss her dearly. Even now when I know she is at school learning (which I was told she have three A’s, two B’s and one C) I want to just find her and cuddle her.

Friday and Saturday since it is technically fall for many, Football season and both of my teams won. Hilliard Davidson beat Thomas Worthington (62-0) and Ohio State Buckeyes beat Illinois (30-0). What makes OSU game more interesting is that the weather condition really sucked and OSU did well. So there Wolverines take that (sorry that would be more for my Daddy than here :D )

I do not really have anything else really to write about except this….I think I finally am getting through Caveman’s mind. He might finally know that he cannot just waltz around thinking someone is always going to take care of him.

September 22, 2009

Topic: What I needed

The weekend (which I say started on Thursday) was great, even with the set back. J.R. and I spent a lot of time together and I love him dearly, but I have learned that he and I do differ on things. But, enough of that, I want to make everyone laugh, if anyone remembers correctly that I went camping before. That was with Sister, well you see J.R. and I got lucky and found the same campsite Sister and I had opened for use. What amazing luck! I took some pictures they were mainly of chipmunks that were playing around and really making me wonder if I was seeing things.

When came back home on Saturday and I asked if he would like to go to The Hilliard Band Invitational. He said he would like to since he has never gone to a Marching Band Competition before. It started at 5pm and there were only ten Marching Bands performing this year. We lost four due to a Levy not passing. But, what was amazing was some of the high schools came to Hilliard Bradley and wore shirts that said on the back “SILENCED by Ohio’s funding plan” and I was very impressed that they had done that.

Hilliard Davidson Marching Band this year is performing a show called “Echoes of Gettysburg” and I have to say it was emotional for me. The show was amazing; they have it almost finished, but need to work on a few things. What was ticking me off is Hilliard Darby Marching Band. The claim they work on their shows more and everything and yet they never can finish the show by this Invitational. While Hilliard Davidson has always tried to finish their show or at least have their kids mark time to allow everyone to hear the music. I never can understand Darby for that.

Yesterday was the feast day of my favorite apostle, Saint Matthew. It was his gospel that I first read when I decided to become Catholic. Many may laugh but I have never truly read the Bible until I decided to become Catholic. Matthew’s gospel was always to be compelling to read, even though many read John’s, I tend to read Matthew’s a lot more. I love the gospels’ of Matthew and Luke the most; while I love John’s especially dealing with the death of Jesus. I wanted to yesterday find the Office of Readings for Saint Matthew, but I was unable to because I got an unexpected surprise.

Jenn, a co-worker of mine came to see me at the Hilliard Library. She needed to see my facebook account for an application, which I am to blame for her addiction to it. But, when she could not get what she wanted we decided to just talk. Well, afterwards she and I went to Borders and I will tell you something people need to now be warned never allow me into a store where there are books. I spent fifty dollars there. But I am proud of what I got. Some things for Sister and some for me.

After going to Borders Jenn and I went to her house and I spent a good amount of time there. Her Husky is adorable and hyper too. I swear that might be why I am so bored too, is there is no dog for me to play with and just have around. It is too damn quiet at Granny’s. I wish I took a picture, but of course I did not. It was not until around 7pm that Jenn took me home. I was glad to have some human contact that did not involve just being there because of work.

So, my boredom has begun and it is not even time for the stupid school year to begin for OSU and CSCC. But, I can at least say I have books to read, HOL, Sims2, and writing to Sister. I will just have to wait until Winter Quarter which begins on the first week of January. Right after I see Sister I will be going back to school again. YAY! That is pretty much what I feel or what I will feel around that weekend.

Speaking of HOL, I have to remember to private message to a Ravenclaw housemate about his question. I was going to do that too, but Jenn surprised me, of course I am blaming Jenn!!! LOL I adore her, so I need to blame her for something.

Yes, as the topic title proves I almost missed a day at work. I am so grateful for J.R. and his ability to wake me by just calling me. You have to understand I was not feeling well when I was trying to sleep and it proved it when I could not remember what time I was suppose to be at work. I cannot believe I almost missed a day. It is alright though, Amy and Tami both understood and did not harp at me for it. I guess since I did three days of Sarah’s shifts they knew I probably was not going to be too keen on coming in with a different schedule. It is worst when your Granny tells you that “you mumbled about something about maybe ten” and that was at three in the afternoon. This week I have already received at work almost twenty-three hours. I work another eight hours and then I am off for two days. Thursday, I will be spending time with J.R., while Friday, I am going to spend time with my Stepmom and her friends. Maybe on Saturday since I am most likely working I think Sarah’s shift I will see if J.R. would like to go somewhere and just chat awhile. I want to spend time with him. The last time we spoke I was getting all depressed and showing my fears.

You see my greatest fear is not death or spiders. My greatest fear is being abandoned by those who I love so dear. I told him I feared that Sister Maria Pacis was going to abandoned me now that she is home and has more important things in her life. She doesn’t know this yet; J.R. claims he will be telling her. I am scared of the reaction I am going to have on visiting, if I even get a reaction. I must sound silly, but I found something while looking through a lot of my Catholic things and I want to re-write it on here. I cried because of the contents, but also because it was from Sister.

                Easter Vigil

                11 April 2009

Nikita Rhea Maria Goretti,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN THE CHURCH!!!!!

I rejoice with you as you complete one stage of your life-long journey and enter fully into your new life.

Baptism is such a beautiful symbol of dying to your former way of life and rising again to Life in Christ Jesus. Remember that as you grow deeper in the Faith you are living in the Center of God’s love you are living in the Center of a beautiful relationship God has ADOPTED you as his own very special and very loved daughter and I am honored to be a witness to this adoption. You have been chosen by God for a very special mission, one that is uniquely yours. You must continue to pray and discover what that mission is and live in the Freedom of the Holy Spirit to carry out this special mission.

This is the Grace of Confirmation.

Confirmation not only completes the sacrament of Baptism, but it also strengthens you for the Mission, for going out and Proclaiming the Truth. The only way this can take place is through a constant dialogue with God. Allow Him to nourish and strengthen you. And we come with that to the final sacrament you received this Holy Night-that of Holy Communion. Jesus Christ Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity present on the Altar and giving to you in the appearance of Bread and Wine.

He is our Daily Bread that we ask for in the Lord’s Prayer. He is what strengthens us to continue on this Earthly Pilgrimage.

“You are what you eat.” Pray that, as you receive Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament, you grow more and more life in Him. He transforms us, with our help.

These Sacraments of Initiation are the Greatest Gifts God gave us for our Earthly life Baptism and Confirmation leave a special mark on our souls that can never be wiped away. The Blessed Eucharist is Christ with us. He said he would never leave us orphans. Soon you will be experiencing for the first time another of the Sacraments, the Sacraments of Reconciliation. In this sacrament God gives us the chance time and again to return to Him when we fall short of his desires for our life.

In this Sacrament we trust in Christ’s mercy He knows us intimately, He knows our weaknesses and gives us the opportunity to overcome them and grow deeper in love with Him.

Frequent this Sacrament and trust in God’s mercy. Thank Him for the graces to return to Him and live in His love.

You have received from me 3 gifts and one from my Mother. These gifts are daily reminders of the Sacraments you have received. The Holy Water Font and Holy Water- Baptism, The Holy Family (Water Font) - reminder that you have been adopted as a Child of God and a model of Marriage and Family life. The Crucifix-reminder of Christ’s Passion and a symbol of your Confirmation. Be willing to suffer for Christ and to spread His great love and mercy to everyone you meet. The book- “Healing Power of the Eucharist” will teach you the power of the great sacrament. The Mass Booklet will teach you the Wonders of the Sacrament and Sacrifice. May these gifts be a constant reminder of the Holy Night you became an Honored Child of the Resurrection. :D

Again, I am honored to be a witness to the Beautiful things God has done in your life just in the past year. You have changed so much since we first met. You have become more confident with yourself and others. You have become more trusting and willing to engage in conversation, to name but a few. Continue to allow Christ to change you so that you will be able to be a witness of His for the world!

People can see that you have “something different about you.” Liz told me the other day that you had changed from when you first met her. Let this be a compliment to you!

Happy Easter my dear Goddaughter! I am so proud to be called your Godmother! Camille Rea, soon to be Sister Maria Pacis.

I have but a few things written by her. All of which keep telling me that she won’t forget me and that trust in God. I want to before Sunday Mass to confess to a priest of the sins that I have done, one of which have allowed the devil to bring up my past fears of being alone and forgotten by all. I am ashamed that I have done something like this; actually I might just ask J.R. to come to a daily mass with me so I can confess on Thursday when we are to meet up. I am still worried that I might screw up with confession, many Catholics think that is odd, but I find justifiable because I have never done confession as much and I have not been able to memorize the whole process. Remember I am only in Church time five months old. I am just a baby!

It is now 7.06am, and it is time for morning prayers. I will do my morning prayers and then the rosary and then hopefully by 8am I will finish and get ready to leave for the library, which now opens at 10am.

God Bless!

It is 1.29am and I have been unable to sleep from the time I last wrote an entry. So, after playing Sims2 and then watching “Anything Goes” I tried to figure another thing to waste my time, since I was still very uneasy in my stomach. Finally I read a few Romance novels, yes just a few (three of them) That took me some time off of thinking about my stomach.

During that time Darrell went to get food for Granny and got me something. About twenty minutes ago I finished reading the last of my romance novels. Now, what am I doing? I am watching a mini-television series that aired on what is now known as Sy-Fy. The series is called “Tin Man”. This is an alternative version of “The Wizard of Oz”. I have seen this series a good many times and I say I need to own this series. My favorite thing about this is I always have the feeling that DG (the main character) and the Tin Man; Wyatt Cain should be hooked up. I actually have gotten to the point where I want to write a fan fiction about the two of them.

Anyways, just starting to watch the show, who knows I might just write the sucker :D

Later!

Two days have passed since I wrote last and I must say I do not know why I am even awake; when I have only slept I think a little over sixteen hours in three days and worked nearly twenty-four. I know many people will say that I am whinnying and I might be, I am sorry to bother you all with the whinnying. But, I can say that for me what is really bothering me is not the idea of sleeping less, but the fact my feet are killing me even with some really good support shoes. That is what is bothering me. I mean I walk back and forth from work all three days (except on Friday I was taken home by Jenn, a co-worker and on Sunday when Darrell took me to work) and I was literally dragging my feet.

But, I will say this; I am getting sick and tired of the idea of getting put down every time I try to do something. I mean it pisses me off more and more. I write down all I have not done or did get done and Tami tells me that she keeps getting a LONG list of things I do not do. As I try to explain that I do more than what she claims I do not, she will not let me get a word in, so on Sunday/Monday work day, I literally hauled ass and did everything even if I was hurting and wanting to just pass out. The only thing I did not do was one male bathroom and that was because it was being used at the time and I could never get back to it afterwards.

Enough about work, I would like to talk about my Sunday because I think it had more eventful things in it. To start off J.R. and I went to 9am Mass. Father Andre-Joseph LaCasse OP had come home from his vacation in Maine to visit family. I got to see him after Mass when he was getting ready to celebrate the 10.30am Mass. I hugged him like I had not seen him in over a year or something like that. He was laughing because I just would not let go. I think I am stupid because unlike many others to me I do not like the idea of being abandoned. I fear it so much because I was abandoned all my life and the other things I fear is when new people are around they do not wish to acknowledge or know me. I hate that.

After saying hello and talking to Father for a little while J.R. and I went to visit Grandma Jackie, Grandpa Neal, Mamaw Vada, Granny Kathleen, and Pappy Jack at the Union Cemetery. While there I also said hello to Coach Woody Hayes (former Buckeyes Coach) and mentioned to J.R. that I want to plant flowers and stuff on Grandma and Grandpa grave and clean up their grave and Granny and Pappy’s graves too by spring time next year. We parted from Union Cemetery and went to Bob Evans and talked about a little project that I want to do, finding my family history and family. It is going to be long and hard task, but I do not mind. J.R. says it will be exciting when we learn about my family history.

Once leaving Bob Evans he took me home and then I went to bed, I was awakening with enough time to get ready for work and then instead of walking, Uncle Darrell took me to work. And that leaves me to talk about the next thing.

For the past two nights/mornings when I am walking home, I have noticed something about the Moon and maybe it is just me matrixing it all, but if I have not written about this, but if you look at the Moon you can see Mary, well I always have. Well, for the past two times I have walked home, I have seen not Mary, but Saint Joseph. I have a theory that many will probably go, ‘you are crazy and need a life’ but I think because I am walking home at early morning Saint Joseph is just watching over me, like any father (foster or biological) would do. I cried the first time I saw it, because I was not looking at the Moon till I felt something urged me to look up.

Back to present, so here I am lying here on the bed, trying to go back to sleep and trying to figure out if I do not go to sleep what to do, I mean I have read all the books I have right now and it is not time for evening prayers. So, my question to myself is what to do with the time now. I think I might work on my Sims 2 game.

Later!

Thursday rolled around quickly. I went to OSU (Ohio State University) campus early in the morning and spent a majority of it at Panera’s (as I mentioned in the last entry I wrote) and by 10am J.R. was there. He got himself something to eat and after awhile we went back to his place. He allowed me to sleep until almost 5.16pm. I do not know what I did to deserve him. Certainly only God knows that answer.

J.R. allowed me to check my emails and I got emails from Father Peter Fegan OP and Carrie. (From SPO) In the email from Carrie, she was asking if I would like to come to the Women’s house. They were having a little get together with the guys and gals and invited me as well. J.R. and decided after we ate where you were going to eat that we would think about it. We decided that we would eat about Sonics’. For those who have never had Sonics’, it is a good place. It was funny where the nearest one was though. Across from the newer part of Union Cemetery (even though it is not really NEW) and that part is where my family is buried.

As we ate, we decided to go to the women’s house. It was grand. It was good to see the girl’s again. Wish I was in the house, but hopefully next year I can be there. J.R. was I believe having a blast, getting to socialize with the whole lot of them. We stayed there until I believe 9.30pm only moments after Carrie finally got to the house. It sucked that I could not get to spend more time with her. With the other girls, Erin is going home to visit before fall quarter begins, Marissa moved out just a few days past and Terry just recently came back from Pennslyvia where her family lives.

J.R. and I came back to my place and we sat in the car for awhile and talked about things. He seems to know that I like to rant and rave especially if there are historical things to talk about. I cannot help that; it is not that I am yelling at anyone it is just that I am one of these people who will do that hoping someone would listen at least a little. It is the teacher in me I guess. :D

Went to bed, but not even an hour into it I could not sleep. I brought out the MPACIS (laptop) and began to play Sims2. That game can be addicting. I have five families, but I might need to make another family, I am unsure at this point. I need to find out how to get that code to get any a shit load of money so I can make my homes BEATUIFUL and easy for my Sims to be as happy as possible. :D Cannot hurt to try. But, anyways I played hoping to get tired of it (which normally I can) so I went to bed about 5.30am.

I was awakened by Granny with J.R. on the phone, which was around 4.30am. I did not mind that I slept a long period of time. I needed the rest. This is where I envy Sister so much because she has a schedule and it is not very hard to get some good night rest. Oh well, life happens to have me living this way. While talking to him (which wasn’t very long) we discussed how he was going to be unable to get me and then go back Downtown for his race on Saturday. I understood and said that I only wished him luck.

Not even after that Kiya calls asking for my CD player. I am thinking, ‘what the heck?’ and so she explains after I ask why that she needs something to listen to as she is traveling with mother and stepdad to Sugargrove. (The small town, and I mean SMALL where Grandparents Mathias live) I told her I needed my CD player for the fact I use them when I walk home or to work or to anywhere if I do not have my MPACIS with me. She understood and just pouted a little and then said something about at least she had a book to read though. Silly girl.

Was called in early tonight for work. Working 9pm-5am is difficult because it screws with your schedule of how you are setting out to do things. I did not do two things: last temperature checks and coupons. If I was able to work 10pm-6am I would have had things finished. It is alright though; I will live through the problem. At least the front end looks PRETTY!

And now on to today, today is the first game for the BUCKEYES!!! And I must warn people that I am a big fan of the Buckeyes. I need to ask Sherri (a friend) how much it would cost to make up a t-shirt for me. I want a t-shirt that says “Daddy’s Little Girl could not be converted” for my Daddy who is a fan of that team up north (Michigan) and put a HUGE block “M” and have it instead of gold, but in Scarlet and Grey. :D I am such a pain in the ass for my Daddy when it comes to football season. Was told that my high school alumni beat their opposing team; I am very happy and excited about that. Next week is a by-week because a school district lost to a levy and took away sports because they could not afford it anymore. (That is a lot of drama)

GO BUCKS!!!!!

That is all for now.

Topic: What a three day time :P

To start the entry, I will say this, I could not ask for a better three days off than I did this week. Starting with Thursday, I got picked up by J.R. and went over to his place. Though Christine is out of the house (due to the fact that her protestant church does not like the idea of her living under the same roof as her fiancé, interesting really :D) she was still there looking over papers. I said my hellos and then we went  downstairs and watched “Hondo”. We talked about random subjects nothing unusual because that is how we get along. Somehow I rant, I have no idea why. We then went to take our things to his mom’s because his mom was letting me staying over her house. I got to meet his mom’s dogs, Penny and Frankie. Penny instantly liked me and actually came up to me and did not have a problem letting me pet her. Frankie is very hyper and I cannot say that I would blame him for the fact he is barely two years old and is a beagle. (I think I spelled that correctly)

Once the stuff was dropped off we stetted off to our destination, which was the 94^th Squadron Club. This is a place where military or flyers could sit and relax, from what I remember reading about the place. Well, since it was our 2-month anniversary J.R. decided to take me swing dancing or really dancing at the 94^th. We literally stayed there until 10.30pm. Well, since we were very hungry, we went to get something to eat. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings, which I have never gone to. I liked the food, not really the sauce, but good food. We watched football and played (unofficially) the countdown questionnaire. It was pretty funny that we would of gotten all but two wrong out of the twenty (I think) questions that we saw while there. If you have never been there I do recommend it.

Leaving there we went to his mom’s house and I have to say it was sweet and amazing. There was a note on the table and it was a letter to J.R. but there was a little piece for me, telling me welcome and my bed was made. She made me a bed on the couch in the living area. I was very surprised and happy that she did something so sweet. Doesn’t happen much in my life, but I say it was great. J.R. and I departed ways and I laid down on the make-shift bed. I think what was interesting was I could not sleep until 3.30am. There are theories there, for one it might have been because I was sleep near J.R., which I have not done since I lived at the apartment. But, the second might be the reason I have been unable to sleep. I am not for sure if I have written about this on livejournal, but I have been lost since Sister left, even though I know in my heart and mind that she is home and by God happy and I am happy for her, I seem lost. Does any of that make any sense?

I woke up with J.R.’s mom coming down the steps and Penny licking my hand. I will say I can see the similarities in J.R. and his mom. One would be their height, I mean they are the same height. Second, they both talk fast and make sure they get everything out in less than a few minutes, which is amazing to me. The final thing is they make sure they told you everything you need to know before they leave. She is very sweet, I liked her instantly the moment I saw her.

Once she left J.R. came downstairs, he has just woke up and he literally crawled into bed (couch really) and we cuddled for awhile. It felt so right to me and warm, something I have missed in the past six weeks or so of our relationship since our last time sleeping next to each other for a whole morning. We made breakfast and cleaned up. Then for a little while we watched “Anchor Away” with Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly. His mom came back from her work and we three all talked and she even gave me a hug and made sure I was comfortable with everything. She then left to volunteer at the Palontonia (I think I spelled that right) which we were going to in just a few hours anyways. After watching “Anchor Away” J.R. took a shower and then I got ready. I found out later from his mom that she brought new stuff for me to use if I needed a shower or anything. I was shocked that someone would do that, but that show much respect from my side than anything because to do that means you care even when they are not your own. J.R. said that during the Palontonia concert and banquet that he knew his mom liked me, by how she was treating me. That is great news and I am glad because I liked her too and hoped to see her more often.

At the Palontonia concert and banquet J.R. got all his rider things (registration, pick folder, and other goodies) and met up with his mom, who sat with us while we ate our dinner. It was a great time there. I signed a sign to thank all riders who fundraised money for this event to help with the research of cancer at the OSU James Center. We were told they raised with all 2253 riders over FOUR million dollars. That is amazing and these riders come from thirty-one states. That is amazing. Even more amazing that over 1500 cancer survivors was there at the concert and banquet. I think the best thing was the music that I got to hear, this one singer I think his name is Mark Nathanson. He was great, I taped one of his songs and got to say he is a good songwriter, like his stuff. Then we got to hear speeches by Mayor Michael Coleman, Governor Ted Strickland, Doctor Gordon Gee, and finally the seven-time winner of the Tour de France, Lance Armstrong. I still like the top ten questions Dr. Gee came up with on “His questions before the bike race” one of my favorite questions was: “Is it true about road rash and if so can we do that to USC this September!” OSU is playing against USC this September. Lance line was, “I was told to talk fast because of the stuff coming in.” It was a storm that was coming in strong and there was lighting and thunder and it came as soon as Lance finished his speech.

We were stuck in the parking area, because of the crowd leaving. So, I taped the lighting storm and our little wait (part of it) in the parking area. J.R. was talking about little rants and raves, nothing unusual. He took me home and then I went to bed immediately.

I was awaken by Granny at 7am. I got up and ready by 8am. I was up this early because Mom Rea was picking me up to take me to Ann Arbor, Michigan. For Saturday was the Blessing of the Motherhouse of Sister’s convent. While I was waiting I was reading the Columbus Dispatch and noticed something in a picture in the Metro&State section, J.R. and I were in it. (Well our backs) I was laughing because I could believe I was in the Dispatch even if it was just my back! :D Mom Rea came to the house around 9.03am and had Sean with her. While on the ride Sean and I were telling small and silly jokes. I was tempted to video tape the show and call it “Driving with Sean and Nikita” and say we were the peanut gallery of road trip to Ann Arbor. We made a joke about how we Buckeyes “Don’t Give a Damn About the Whole State of Michigan” and said Sister’s convent doesn’t count because it is Vatican terroritory! :D I also said that Maumee sounds like “Mommy” and when a highway sign said, “Napoleon/Maumee” I told Sean, “Look we are going to see Napoleon’s Mommy” :D just great stuff.

We got to the convent at 1.20pm and when we walked into the gym, I could pick out sister in a heart-beat. As I was walking, I looked up and Sister looked up at the same time and literally almost looked like she was going to cry of joy, she held her hand up to cover her mouth. We did not distract her though. I am glad to say I was not going to. I saw all of the Sisters that I met at the March for Life (the ones in Sister’s group) and they all saw me and smiled widely. I knew I would get to see them.

The Blessing was great and awe-inspiring to know that this convent, Dominican Sister of Mary, the Mother of the Eucharist started out with FOUR sisters and now since yesterday (Friday) they are now up to NINETY-NINE sisters. This is all in twelve years! After the blessing and speeches the Sisters disperse and met up with people. Sister came directly up to us three and hugged Mom Rea first and then Sean and then as she turned to me she said, “Well, what do you think?” I felt the hug and knew that she was happy and had miss me as much as I miss her. As we finish our hug she said to me “Happy FablousThunderbirds” it is a small joke between Sister, J.R., and I. We all four talked for awhile and then I went to meet up with the novices that were in Sister’s group. I met up with all eight of the girls and they literally hugged me like I was a dear Sister of theirs they had not seen in awhile. I am known as “Kita” there and they were showing me off to all the new girls and dragged me around somewhat.

I met up with Sister again and we talked more. I talked to her about something that many do not mention because we do not want to make people to think we are weird. But, Sister and I believe once my little sister, Kiya converts to Catholicism (which she will at age 16, we pray) we believe she will after five or so years will become a Sister. Sister said she was thinking the same thing for awhile now and noticed it around the time during Lent. If she does I will be proud of her, if she doesn’t I am still proud of her.

Before we left we talked to Sister again and took pictures and I had a video done with Sister saying hello. I told her that I am glad she is happy, but I have been feeling lost and unsure of myself. Sister and I talked for awhile and she told me that she notices, our ESP has been working. Claiming that at 2.30am she will wake on certain days and she says she knows I talk to her and she talks to me. She prays with my rosary when she is praying for me, J.R., Kiya, and close family members. She thinks and I think she might be right, but the devil is trying to get at me again. I hate that, and I feel that I am causing trouble to her, because to worry about me will make her coming home and we do not want that. But, she claims I am not doing that and that she misses me, though I told her she cannot how could she when she is doing so much and at home and right in place and with people she loves. But, she smiles and says that there is too many times where she misses me as much as I miss her.

We left around 5pm, with us waving goodbye to Sister and I not crying as much because I knew I would be seeing her in October and she will be talking to me in the night when I stare at the ceiling. Sean and I then afterwards talked again and spent time discussing things. Such things as: his poetry, catholic traditions, title for the book I want to write, and finally understanding of what priest and nuns/sisters do for the Church, Fruit Tree.

The Fruit is very simple, it starts out with the roots which the faith that believes in Trinity God and all that is Catholic truth. The Trunk that has grew from these roots is the Chair of Peter, the Papacy. As the tree grows its branches those are the cardinals and those branches make more branches called bishops. More branches grow from those called priests and these branches create the branches that are the Sisters and then finally the tree has grown and it produces from this tree with all the several branches fruit, nutritious fruit that is the common people. And if one of these branches looses life you loose a group of fruit, or a group of common people. You must have priests and sisters to keep the fruit sweet and nutritious.

They dropped me off at 8.23pm and I called J.R. and he was watching “Hondo” (which I realized at that time I left the DVD there) and we talked about Sister. He surprised me with the news his Grandmother was coming with us to Mass. Very cool and I am glad. I told him Kiya was coming over to the house and was coming to Mass with us too. He was happy and Kiya is excited because she misses Mass. I will be tomorrow going to confession. I am worried that I might screw up and hopefully I get Father Andre-Joseph LaCasse OP. I would like that. While talking to him I got a call from Kiya and so talked to her before she hung up. I finished talking to J.R. and then called Daddy. We talked for over I think 15 minutes and that included talking on speakerphone with Tammy, Shane, and Tyler (It seems Kyle was not wanting to talk) and then afterwards I went downstairs and talked to Granny. While talking to Granny we got a phone call I answered it and it was my Great-Uncle Terry, who was in the Air Force. He knew instantly who I was (he has not seen me as much) and so it was nice to know he remembered me. I gave the phone to Granny and they talked for awhile.

Afterwards I remembered a few things and I called J.R. and then around 10pm Kiya came over. It seems that Hilliard Davidson Wildcats won 21-20 on their first game. I hope Saint Thomas Aquinas beat Upper Arlington. (Edit: Upper Arlington was beaten by Saint Thomas Aquinas with the ending score of 56-7) I hope that the Hilliard Davidson Marching Band did well. I want to see them as the Hilliard Inventional.

Topic: Sunday Mass

I hate the fact that when I decide to sleep I seem to underestimate myself and oversleep. My Great-Grandmother Beaver (Granny as I and many know her) said that I was awake when she woke me up at 7am. It seems Kiya woke up, but said I told her to go back to sleep. Granny woke us both up again at 7.44am. I hate when I do that, but J.R. wants to go to Mass at 9am all the time. It is alright, I need to get use to it, just like every second Sunday I will need to go to Mass at noon for the Laity of the Dominican Order.

He came to the house around 8.06am and there was his Grandmother. From the moment I saw her, I liked her. She looked like one of those little old ladies that you just see yourself drawn to and wishing you could sit in a rocking chair and talk about her lifetime. When we (Kiya and I) got into the car, his Grandmother asked if I wanted to change seats with her. I looked at her and said, “No I do not I would rather you have the better seat.” She was surprised I would do that, well a little bit. We went to Kroger Gas Station on Hilliard Rome Road, and fill up the tank. It was 8.23am when we left the Hilliard and reached Saint Patrick’s Church at 8.37am.

Father Jordan OP was the celebrate of the Mass. I love his homilies I think that is because he and Father Peter Fegan OP would get the serious or the readings that were hard for some to take. But, I will find that J.R.’s Grandmother really liked going there, for she said after Mass that she felt “home like”. I think the only bad thing about after Mass was the feelings I have that certain people are not happy with Sister. I think that hurts I know why they are and I will mention it because I am not going to talk about this. I just will say this now, just get over it and be glad she is happy, do not cause pain and hurt to her. She is back home and leave it at that. Argh, I just wanted to yell at people. Oh well, Sister is happy and sober and that is the happiest moment for me.

Got home and literally went to bed. And the worst part was I slept through the time I needed up. I hope Ulol and all Staff members are not mad at me for not making the meeting today. Why did I do that? I do need internet for my house. I just need it.

Now, here I am writing this entry on Microsoft Word 2007. Watching America’s Funniest Home Video and just waiting for 7.45pm to roll around so I can get ready for work. Plan for tomorrow is to come home around 5.30am, then clean the room until 8am and then leave to the Hilliard Branch Library and be there for about four hours and then come home and then afterwards go home. Once home I will be picked up by my mother, who will take me to her house and then I will stay the night so I can take Kiya to her bus stop.

Topic: It is a Monday

I tell you this now, I really am one to hate working so late, I mean I love staying up all night, but this is…I have no words for it. I worked until 5am last night, it was pretty boring, I was going to get pissed off at Jeff if he kept up his “lets push buttons”. You see the reason for Sarah and I to work this late is to be able to clean and get the front end back to where it needs to be. Do not get mad at me that I do not look at that damn door every 15 minutes. Argh! I just wanted to kick him, right in the groin and that pissed me off more that I felt like doing that.

Once it hit 5am, I was gone. Jill, a co-worker was going to take me home, but Darrell got up (which he did not have to) and picked me instead. Once coming home I just could not just get myself to eat or settle down. I watched television for a little bit, decided to watch “Biggest College Football Rivalry: Michigan vs. Ohio State” which was on HBO. I watched that before, back in 2007 when it first aired, but when you watch again, you just cannot help but say “damn good documentary”.

Finally after walking around and reading a bit and listening to music, I just decided I could not stay up any longer and knew I would not get up to go to Hilliard Library. So, at around 1.30pm I was awaken by Granny who had the phone with her. She told me someone wanted to talk to me. It was J.R. and that in turn got me waking up. I love the fact he calls, I just hated the idea that he caught me waking up. He was talking to me telling me about how he saw a Hawk with its prey and was able to come at least ten to 15 feet. After a while we stop talking cause he was going on a ride.

Around 4.45pm my mother came over to Granny’s to pick me up. We left and went to the Hilliard Library so I could drop off those DVDs I had and then pick up the things I had on reserve. I need to do something that I have never done, print out my list of books that I have read, mark off the ones I own and then out of the ones I do not have to put them on a list to make for Christmas and Birthday. I have a lot of books and DVDs I want, which is a given.

Once I dropped off those DVDs I went online real quick to send Sister Joseph-Andrew OP the link to the Columbus Dispatch (Local Newspaper) and then I checked out my reserves. Those reserves were: Anna Nalick’s “Wreck of the Day”, The Original Broadway Cast of “Wicked”, Disney’s “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”, The Soundtrack of the Motion Picture “Pride&Prejudice”. (Though I did not like Kiera Knightley in the movie, she did not make a good Elizabeth in my opinion, but their Mr. Darcy was SEXY :D )

Finally here I am again using the Mircosoft Word 2007 to write my entries.

Topic: What my Tuesday and Wednesday consist of

I finally understood that when I go to my mother’s house, I will not be able to sleep. I was up all Monday night and Tuesday night because of the fact I could not sleep. I played Sims 2 hoping I would fall asleep, because I normally do after about an hour playing the game. Nope that did not do anything. I stayed up, that just pisses me off more.

Got Kiya ready for school and Caveman took her to the bus-stop. And even after that, I still could not go to sleep. Phil, my stepdad took me to my mother’s work (officemax) and she took me home. Granny was not home and so I went to my room and got ready for work.

I went to work and then when coming home, I noticed something, if I do not have my Dominican Rosary I am very edgy walking home at night. To most people and to most of my family they do not like the idea of me walking home at night. I know it is dangerous, but I was not going to be just walking without thinking. I know there is new danger here than what there was twenty years ago, I know this. Please know that I do not like walking at night, but know that I am not going to learn to drive to go back and forth for a job, no. I am selfish in that regard.

Wednesday was mainly me waking up going “nope not going to school” and so, when I put this on livejournal, this entry will be long :D

sekhmetsat

sekhmetsat

Maximilian was born in 1894 in Poland and became a Franciscan. He contracted tuberculosis and, though he recovered, he remained frail all his life. Before his ordination as a priest, Maximilian founded the Immaculata Movement devoted to Our Lady. After receiving a doctorate in theology, he spread the Movement through a magazine entitled "The Knight of the Immaculata" and helped form a community of 800 men, the largest in the world.

Maximilian went to Japan where he built a comparable monastery and then on to India where he furthered the Movement. In 1936 he returned home because of ill health. After the Nazi invasion in 1939, he was imprisoned and released for a time. But in 1941 he was arrested again and sent to the concentration camp at Auschwitz.

On July 31, 1941, in reprisal for one prisoner's escape, ten men were chosen to die. Father Kolbe offered himself in place of a young husband and father. And he was the last to die, enduring two weeks of starvation, thirst, and neglect. He was canonized by Pope John Paul II in 1982. His feast day is August 14th.

He is considered one of the Holocaust Saints. Happy Feast Day Saint Maximilian Kolbe! Why I also remember him so well is because my RCIA classes were conducted in the Saint Maximilian Kolbe Room at Saint Patrick's. After that I learned about him and his love for Mary and Jesus and his martrydom. This picture on the left is the picture that hangs on the wall of the room deciated to him.